Life Like WaterLife Transformation Blog - Immerse Yourself

Disrupted Serenity

There you are, kayaking down a beautiful river on a cool refreshing morning. Holding the oars out of the water, you gently coast with the natural flow of the river. As you listen to the peaceful sounds of nature and take in as much of it’s beauty along the river banks, you can’t help but wish every day was like this. No concrete. No traffic. No noise. No stress.

You close your eyes for a few seconds to focus on the smell, sounds, and the feeling of the wind caressing your cheeks. Your moment in serenity is violently disrupted as the kayak hits a rock, and another, and another. Until you find yourself in the middle of raging rapids.

Life like water offers you many peaceful moments of serenity. Unfortunately, it can also catch you off guard, forcing you into a fight for survival. You can’t control life any better than the river. Fortunately, you are in control of your responses and reactions to the events that hit you. You usually have two choices when going through the rapids:

1. You feel that it’s too overwhelming and simply give up the battle and let life dictate where you end up. This can be very catastrophic.
2. Or, you can face the danger and take on the battle for survival, becoming stronger for it in the end. This may require some tough changes in your life just to survive.

I’ve been through those rapids, and recently too. I definitely have chosen to survive the battle and it is far from easy. That initial thrust into the rapids overwhelmed me with all sorts of emotions. All at once, I reflected on the changes in the past, felt the violent changes happening in the present, and was concerned about the changes in the future.

I was worried what all of the changes meant. I was doubting the changes that I have made and if I could make it through the changes that I needed to make. I feared that the challenges I faced would be too overwhelming and I wouldn’t survive. Toward the end of the rapids, I had grown tired of it all, but had just enough strength and stamina to press onward.

I remember moments when I’d reflect at all of the memories of my past that brought me to that moment and wondering how much of it was real or false. Was I that blind to the rapids ahead? If I had known about them, could I have veered off down a side river in the last fork and avoided the rapids?

So many more questions. How could my faith in God not protected me from this? Is he testing me now? What about all of my plans and vision for the future? Are there even any boundaries to the changes that are happening? How long are these rapids going to last? Even down to the question of, Who am I?

The identity of my very existence was up in the air. Who would I be after the rapids? Before I could get that answered, I’d need to understand how I obtained the now lost identity that I had before the rapids.

So, what happens once you reach the river bank? Well, obviously like the river, life still rages onward. The river never sleeps.

When life overwhelms us like a raging river, you come out of it needing a break. Along the river bank the water often flows much slower and form temporary pools of water. You sit there, on the river bank with your feet in the water for that refreshing comfort. As you lean over the pool of water, you see your reflection and immediately look for all of the damage done from the recent events.

Life like water can also bring you pain. It’s only in these moments of pain that you discover what you’ve been carrying protected only by a scab of anger and frustration. Sitting there, relaxing from the rapids, your guard is down as you begin the healing process. This is when your feelings erupt like a volcano.

First, you explode with a lot of anger. You want to blame everything and everyone else around you, including your faith. You then will start blaming yourself for everything. You’re right to take responsibility for the choices you made, but it’s not right to blame yourself for the choices and responsibilities of others. The important thing, is to go deeper than the anger into the real feelings in order to fully understand your responsibility.

After the initial anger eruption, you’ll experience an overwhelming flow of many other emotions that are the real reasons for your pain. If you are to truly recover and return back to the raging river as healthy as you can be, you must allow your emotions to flow out and understand why they are there. Only then can your pain really be dealt with and the healing run deep.

This will take a lot of reflecting on the past and getting through all of the built up pain over the years. Once that healing is complete, you’ll be ready to set new goals and a new vision for your life as you begin to form your new identity. That temporary scab of anger will become a permanent battle scar as a reminder of the journey you survived.

You can survive the rapids and you will become stronger for it. As for me, I made it through the rapids and am sitting on the river bank, reflecting and healing. One day, I’ll get back into the river and take on my new adventure as I continue the journey of my life.